Quote for the day:

“The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.”

- Harlan Ellison

This was an ad that came out in the States [no, really?] in the late 1960’s.

I think this was a campaign to discourage deviant behavior. But that’s not why I’ve put it up here. I saw this awhile ago and it made me laugh because it made me remember an old classmate who had a mullet.

A MULLET. IN 2008. I KID YOU NOT.

This boy sat in front of me [of course! WHERE ELSE?!], so just imagine my pain, how impossible it was for me to concentrate on the lecture and how hard it was for me to come to class with the knowledge that his hair would be waiting for me.

IKR. WHYYYY?!?!

Okay, it wasn’t that bad, it was more like this:

But even so, every time I saw him I had to fight the urge to dig my nails into his forehead and scalp him – scalp him gooood. That hair only works on Captain Planet, and even he only barely pulls it off.

I dreaded that class because just sitting in the same room with that hair left me so drained. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a member of the fashion police – I own a pair of pink Crocs for goodness’ sake – but it was just… wrong.

THINK OF THE CHILDREN! THE CHILDREN!!!!

Thankfully for my grades, he eventually cut the offensive hair in time for me to prepare for our final exams. By then I had devoted so much of our class hours staring at his hair that I couldn’t recall 80% of our past lessons… and I also think he thought I fancied him a little. Wonderful, I know.

Our society could use a few good haircuts. Just saying.

This has been Day 2 of my I-will-update-my-blog-every-day-for-a-week resolution!!!

Quote for the day:

“There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.”

Sir Francis Bacon, Of Beauty

Because I have no idea what to write about but I still want to upload my blog, I looked into my Make A Wish box of treasures, and found this [very lonely - gimme more please] request:

Have you ever fallen in love with another girl? If yes, could you write about it please? – “M”

To answer your question M, no I have never fallen in love with another girl. Sorry for being so boring, but even though I’m a total tomboy, I am 100% heterosexual and attracted to the male of the species, even the undeserving and disgusting kind, unfortunately.

However, like most females, I am not afraid to appreciate the beauty of other females.  This is rarer in males – the only straight guy I know who can talk about how good-looking another guy is is my brother… he’s special.

So here it is – it had to come sooner or later – my list of girl-crushes.

*drumroll*

10. Audrey Hepburn

OCCUPATION: actress, humanitarian

CLASS: 17/10
QUIRK: 7/10
PRETTY: 10/10
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Dances like a beatnik

9. Tina Fey

OCCUPATION: comedian, actress

LULZ: 8/10
PRETTY: 7/10
GEEK: 9/10
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Does a mean Palin impersonation

8. Alison Sudol/A Fine Frenzy

OCCUPATION: musician

PRETTY: 9/10
PIANO: 9/10
SONGWRITING: 10/10
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Has red hair, reported to be writing a children’s story

7. Allison Harvard

OCCUPATION: student, model, intarnet meme

PRETTY: 8/10
CREEPY: 10/10
QUIRK: 12/10
SPECIAL ABILITIES: See flickr account, should have won ANTM title [Cycle 12]

6. Megan Joy

OCCUPATION: musician

PRETTY: 9/10
QUIRK: 10/10
ATTITUDE: 10/10
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Caws, single mother, high pain tolerance [see tattoo, experience on AI, divorce]

5. Corinne Bailey Rae

OCCUPATION: musician

PRETTY: 9/10
GUITAR: 9/10
SONGWRITING: 10/10
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Is British, high pain tolerance [see experience with racism, being widowed]

4. Sia Furler

OCCUPATION: musician

QUIRK: 15/10
SONGWRITING: 17/10
AWESOMENESS: AWESOME
SPECIAL ABILITIES: See MV for Buttons. Blows away David Letterman.

3. Bryce Dallas Howard

OCCUPATION: actress

ACTING: 10/10
PRETTY: impossible
SPECIAL ABILITIES: vegetarian [formerly vegan], can make me pay to watch Eclipse [of the Twilight franchise]

2. Molly Lewis/sweetafton23

OCCUPATION: musician, student

SONGWRITING: 9/10
QUIRK: 10/10
LULZ: 9/10
UKULELE: 10/10
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Has curly hair

1. Zooey Deschanel

OCCUPATION: actress, musician

SONGWRITING: 10/10
PRETTY: 12/10
ACTING: 8/10
QUIRK: 9/10
SPECIAL ABILITIES: survived the disaster that was The Happening

Analysis:

I’m attracted to:

• musicians
• funny people
• strange people
• beautiful-but-not-the-boring-kind people
• all-of-the-above people

This trend can also be observed in my boy-crushes. But don’t worry, I won’t go into that now.

I’m being lazy, hence the bullet points and the stupid trading card stats aaaand… the entire post actually, so I’ll end the inanity here. Interested in seeing other people’s homo-crush lists. *hint hint*

Dear reader, do you know this movie?

Plot summary (from imdb.com):

When a young boy and his family don’t come one year to their holiday home, their household appliances… think their master might be in trouble. They decided that rather than stay where they are, they’ll try to find them. So beings a dangerous and amusing adventure through the countryside and into the big city. Written by Cynan Rees {cynanrees@hotmail.com}

If you do, good. You know what I’m going to be talking about. If you don’t, now you know.

Anyway, I blame this movie especially for my unhealthy empathy towards inanimate objects.

For example, I crack a mug. Most people would feel pretty bad for being so clumsy, but sometimes – not as frequent as it used to be, mind you – I actually feel sorry for the mug. I mourn over its loss of purpose in the world, and the part I played in its death… Then I quickly get over it, because one should only allow a modest number of moments of insanity in one’s life.

[This is why I don't name my belongings. A lot of people name their gadgets/musical instruments/etc., and I do none of that, it only makes me worse. I tried giving my violin a name  once upon a time but it didn't work out. So basically we're all no-name slobs now.]

Before I go on, let me give you a brief summary of my history with this movie.

[history]

In the late 80’s, TBLT came out. [A lot of Pixar guys were behind the release, which explains a lot. Don't even get me started on toys. Pixar has a lot of my issues to answer for.] I watched it sometime in the early 90’s, and it was so bizarre that years later, I thought I had dreamed up the whole thing. This all changed one pivotal day in the late 90’s, in a video rental place I forgot the name of, when the pre-adolescent version of myself saw TBLT’s VHS sleeve nestled in the bowels of the family viewing section. And I knew. Something in my heart and my head clicked. And I felt a little less alone in the world, knowing that it was all real. Well, almost real. [I think it's important to say that I didn't dare rent it and risk doing any more damage to my sensibilities.]

[/history]

So later on in the day, when I’m on my bed and reflecting on the many mistakes I mistook and feelings I felt and choices I choiced – but most especially the mug I un-mugged – I remember The Brave Little Toaster and curse it for making me so weird. And I feel good. Because at least I have something to curse.

Bow.

But wait! Don’t go! My story isn’t finished yet!

Recently, I had a TBLT moment of my own. See, around two months ago I lost my cell phone in Rizal, and everyone I knew told me that I should get a new phone. Get over it, they said. You need a number, they said. Your social life is going to die, they said.

And guess what? Being the tenacious heroine that I am, I didn’t.

I didn’t believe any of it. I didn’t heed their advice. Sure, I knew that the rational thing to do was to buy a cell phone and most importantly, get a new number – people do it all the time, how hard could it be? But somewhere deep in my gut was a faint glimmer of hope, a belief that my battered Nokia 3110 was out there in the wilderness of the Sierra Madre, crying out, “I’ll find you! As long as you believe, I’ll find you!” [By the way, I think it's only fair to mention that everyone was right - my social life... erm... what  social life?]

But I’m only human. After a month, I bought a new sim card, and I borrowed an old phone from my sister. And I put the sim card in the phone. And I turned it on. And you know what?

It didn’t work.

I didn’t bother to get it repaired.

IT WAS A SIGN.

The next day, my dad gets a call from Rizal – somebody had found my phone. [I like to believe that my phone found somebody, but... yeah... ehem... never mind.]

And so I waited for its return. And waited. And waited. I felt like Audrey Tautou in A Very Long Engagement. I hadn’t had this much drama in ages, and I was milking it for all that it was worth.

* * *

WAIT! STOP READING! PUT WHATEVER YOU’RE LISTENING TO ON PAUSE! AND CLICK PLAY FOR MAXIMUM DRAMA!

I Got You Babe Sonny And – Cher
FREE MP3 DOWNLOADS @ MP3-CODES.COM

Have you clicked play? Okay, you may carry on reading.

* * *

Last week on the fourth of July, it came back into my arms.

After two months of separation, I can go back to ignoring important text messages and phone calls. It’s such a beautiful feeling, so beautiful that I had to share it with YOU, dear reader.

So when you think you’ve lost something or someone important to you, and you’re losing hope because the chances of reconciliation is 1 in a bajillion… take comfort in the fact that 1 in a bajillion is still a chance [okay, maybe I should have used a real number for that illustration]. Sometimes it’s okay to be stubborn. Stand your ground. Be steadfast. And listen. To your heart, and to that voice inside your head that believes in The Brave Little Toaster. [Note: Most of the time you should tell it to shut up, it usually works for me.]

.

**Reader discretion is advised. The author is not responsible for any damages that may be traced back to this post.**

[YouTube page: KokoKaina]

Quote for the day:

“In an mmmbop they’re not there.
Until you lose your hair. But you don’t care.”

- Hanson, Mmmbop

Last weekend I got a little taste of life on the other side of the generation gap.

I was in Laguna for this retreat my parents were holding for some military families, and was one of the oldest “kids” there [the oldest being my sister]. Because my mother kept insisting that I should make an effort to be sociable, I made myself look busy by sitting with my sister, who was socializing with some [obviously younger] girls.

Check out the dialogue:

Girl1: “OMG, you’re turning fourteen this year.”
Girl2: “Yeah, so are you.”
Girl1: “But you’ll be first. You’re sooo old.”
Me: *blank face*

It gets even better.

Me: “So what year were you guys born, 1994?”
Girl: “1996.”
Me: “Wha… you… before… Backstreet…” [Translation: "Exterminate. Exterminate."]
My sister: “You weren’t even born when the Backstreet Boys’ first album was released!”
Me: “You were babies when Mmmbop came out!”
My sister: “OH MY GAWD!”
Me: “MY BRAAAIN!” *explodes* 

You can leave out that last bit.

Then after that, my sister and I were holding-hands-while-walking-may-pasway-sway-pa, singing Mmmbop because given the circumstances, it seemed like the right thing to do…

Me and my sister: “Mmmbop… dapdoowop doowop.. YEAH YEAH… etc.”
Perplexed boy is perplexed: ”What are you singing?”
My sister: “OH MY GAWD!”
Me: “MY BRAAAIN!” *explodes* 

There you have it, I am officially old.

I can only hold onto the hope that one day this emo business will be over and laughed at by the next generations. Bwahaha.

But I have to do this.

Because American Idol is the only show I bother watching.

And because Season 8 without Noop Dogg isn’t worth watching.

Yes, he was out of his element last night, but it was still good.

And come on, you can’t let a guy with this kind of talent get away that easily.

You just can’t.

It’s wrong.

I don’t even like RnB and I love this guy.

For more of Anoop, visit anoopdog.com.