Quote for the day:

Everybody poops.

- some guy

Here’s today’s walking-home-from-the-corner-of-the-highway-five-minute reverie: If I were invisible I would stalk my life’s movers and shakers.

I’d skulk around in the bedrooms of the beautiful and powerful. I’d read over the shoulder of that-boy-I-haven’t-quite-gotten-over-yet. I’d sit in my former professors’ living rooms and see what soaps they watch.

I’d watch them clip their toenails, come home drunk and bleary-eyed, floss, and pick their noses. Not necessarily in that order.

Maybe then I would stop using them as measuring sticks for my physical attractiveness/intelligence/aptitude for greatness/and all that crap. Maybe then I’d let you see me and maybe then I wouldn’t care about what you’re thinking instead of pretending not to care, like I always, always do.

Quote for the day:

“The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.”

- Harlan Ellison

This was an ad that came out in the States [no, really?] in the late 1960’s.

I think this was a campaign to discourage deviant behavior. But that’s not why I’ve put it up here. I saw this awhile ago and it made me laugh because it made me remember an old classmate who had a mullet.

A MULLET. IN 2008. I KID YOU NOT.

This boy sat in front of me [of course! WHERE ELSE?!], so just imagine my pain, how impossible it was for me to concentrate on the lecture and how hard it was for me to come to class with the knowledge that his hair would be waiting for me.

IKR. WHYYYY?!?!

Okay, it wasn’t that bad, it was more like this:

But even so, every time I saw him I had to fight the urge to dig my nails into his forehead and scalp him – scalp him gooood. That hair only works on Captain Planet, and even he only barely pulls it off.

I dreaded that class because just sitting in the same room with that hair left me so drained. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a member of the fashion police – I own a pair of pink Crocs for goodness’ sake – but it was just… wrong.

THINK OF THE CHILDREN! THE CHILDREN!!!!

Thankfully for my grades, he eventually cut the offensive hair in time for me to prepare for our final exams. By then I had devoted so much of our class hours staring at his hair that I couldn’t recall 80% of our past lessons… and I also think he thought I fancied him a little. Wonderful, I know.

Our society could use a few good haircuts. Just saying.

This has been Day 2 of my I-will-update-my-blog-every-day-for-a-week resolution!!!

This will be my first and last letter. Enough is enough. I’ve been letting you bring out the worst in me, and I will not make patol to you henymore. I will not talk, I will not write, and I will control my body language. No more drama. No no no no drama.

Sincerely,

DQ