[BGmusic: The Beautiful Ones by Suede]

Quote for the day:

“But when I think about leaving,
I think about losing
The only love I’ve ever known
Every time I think of you

My heart starts aching
My hands keep shaking
And you know, you know, you know…

It would take a strong, strong [girl]
To ever let you go.”

- It Would Take a Strong Strong Man by Rick Astley
[sorry Raianne haha.]

Remember freshman year?

Out of tens of thousands of suitors, she picked you. Yes, you.

Remember that surreal and euphoric feeling you got during those first few months? For years you had thought of her as somewhat out of your league, yet there you were, by her side, asking yourself, “What on earth is she doing with a loser like me? I can’t believe she picked me.”

You wonder when she’ll realize the error of her ways – that she made a mistake picking you. And she makes no demands, at least not out loud – she’s not that kind of girl. But you know that one small slip could result in the premature end to your love affair.

So you work. You work to prove yourself worthy of her love, and you push your mind and body until you’re spent.

Sometimes, it pays off. But the sad thing is, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes you just can’t offer what she wants. And you often find yourself crying over your inadequacy and cursing the day you fell in love with her and she with you. Some days you just want to end it, and you probably would if only you had the courage.

Gradually, you end up neglecting her for other seemingly more rewarding relationships, only spending time with her every now and then, but only when you really need to. And only because you need her.

It’s only a matter of time before she tells you that it’s time to leave.

You always knew that this day would come. Only a chosen few end up spending the rest of their days with her. A mere mortal like you would only be digging your own grave by staying any longer…

And as the day grows nearer, she grows more and more beautiful. And so you find yourself loving her in a way you couldn’t before.

It’s like you’ve fallen in love with her for the first time all over again, except this time you know her. You know the sound of her voice, her every curve and scar, her smell in the rain, and the way she looks in the moonlight and in the morning sun. And you know that you’ll always hold a place for her in your heart.

Why is that?

Why does she choose to be beautiful now, just when she knows it’s going to cause the most pain?

Why do you choose to love her now, of all times, when it’s too late?

Love. Ain’t it cruel.

Senioritis is the pits.