[BGmusic: Some Things Never Seem to F*cking Work by Solange]
Quote for the day:
Go (please stay), go (please stay)
Go if you want, I can’t stop you
Go if you want to
- Now I’m All Messed Up, Tegan and Sara
There must have been a time when you believed that you were someone worth going the distance for, otherwise you wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with. Someone, once upon a time, had told you that you were special, that any man on earth would count their lucky stars to be with you.
Do you still believe in this – even after the hours, days, weeks spent waiting for that boy to text, call, show up; even after promises that didn’t stick and the feeble excuses and apologies that followed; even after being offered half a heart?
Do you base your worth on the rare moments when he accidentally tells you that he loves you, when your jokes don’t fall flat, when his voice and touch are soft and tentative? Do you think your value equal to the sum of the yellowing bruises he presses on your skin, the words that leave welts on your heart, and the times he’s looked away from the sight of you crying?
Or do you stand firm in the conviction that you deserve better, that this was a fluke, that this boy was just another bad experience to overcome, that a happily ever after is just around the corner? If so, what are your secrets? Where do you find resilience? How do you let go and walk away? Are you worth more than the meantime because you believe that you are, or is it just because it is so?
Please let me know.
I just realized that this is my 100th post and goodness, what a downer I’ve become! Let’s all hope for a change of tone here. Enough wallowing. ENOUGH!