Apr 15 2014

From a Meantime Girl, to Someone Better

[BGmusic: Some Things Never Seem to F*cking Work by Solange]

Quote for the day:

Go (please stay), go (please stay)
Go if you want, I can’t stop you
Go if you want to

- Now I’m All Messed Up, Tegan and Sara

There must have been a time when you believed that you were someone worth going the distance for, otherwise you wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with. Someone, once upon a time, had told you that you were special, that any man on earth would count their lucky stars to be with you.

Do you still believe in this – even after the hours, days, weeks spent waiting for that boy to text, call, show up; even after promises that didn’t stick and the feeble excuses and apologies that followed; even after being offered half a heart?

Do you base your worth on the rare moments when he accidentally tells you that he loves you, when your jokes don’t fall flat, when his voice and touch are soft and tentative? Do you think your value equal to the sum of the yellowing bruises he presses on your skin, the words that leave welts on your heart, and the times he’s looked away from the sight of you crying?

Or do you stand firm in the conviction that you deserve better, that this was a fluke, that this boy was just another bad experience to overcome, that a happily ever after is just around the corner? If so, what are your secrets? Where do you find resilience? How do you let go and walk away? Are you worth more than the meantime because you believe that you are, or is it just because it is so?

Please let me know.


I just realized that this is my 100th post and goodness, what a downer I’ve become! Let’s all hope for a change of tone here. Enough wallowing. ENOUGH!

Mar 12 2014

A Wild DQ Appeared!!

Filed under: Dead DQ Day

From dorkly.

I feel you, Pidgey. I feel you.

I was going to post something real today but I’m suddenly too sad to produce anything. I don’t know how those depressed artists manage it.

Mar 09 2014

I’m tired of being alone

So hurry up and get here.

Mar 08 2014

Festival Rundowns

Filed under: Just Sharing, Music, Pop Culture Tags: ,

[BGmusic: Kodaline - High Hopes]

Quote for the day:

Music makes the people come together. Yeah.
Music mix the bourgeoisie and the rebel.

- Madonna

I haven’t updated in a while because my social calendar’s been unusually hectic. Now, however, it’s back to normal: I’m at home – totally alone, save for my dog – on a Saturday, and the world is in a state of complete peace and balance. Hello, blog! Hello, internet!

If you live in the Philippines, you’ve probably heard of the 7107 International Music Festival and the Malasimbo Music and Art Festival, or at least the former. Though I’ve wanted to go to Malasimbo since the first time I heard of it, I hadn’t planned on going to either festival this year since there was no way I could scrounge up enough money in time.

But my job has a funny way of getting on my good side when I’m this close to quitting, and I was given the opportunity to go to not just one, but both! Hurrah!

It would be easy to pit one festival against the other, but I’m not going to do that. Partly because my company was a media sponsor in the events so to do so would be bad taste, but mostly because I enjoyed myself in both.

The plan from the get-go was to go to 7107 with my brother, who is a huuuuge Red Hot Chili Peppers fan. I even begged for an extra ticket just so he could go. But – alas! – he suddenly remembered that he was going to climb Mt Pulag that very weekend. Thank goodness I had an old friend from Baguio who, when I asked her if she wanted to go, didn’t even bat an eyelash when she said yes.

(more…)

Feb 15 2014

A Confession

Filed under: Love, Relationships

[BGmusic: just my electric fan]

*this will sound like rambling because I am. Just woke up and am still lying down in bed, I just felt like blogging.

Quote for the day:

“Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.”

- George Carlin

For the longest time I’ve proclaimed my dislike for Valentine’s Day, and I know I haven’t been alone in this. You’ve probably all heard these sentiments repeated over and over again from all sorts of people, single or otherwise, and that’s because they’re true: Valentine’s Day is overrated, unnecessary, hackneyed, blah blah etc. Also, my favorite: if you really love each other you shouldn’t need a day dedicated to showing it.

But see, yeah, we don’t need Valentine’s Day, but it’s there! It’s a thing! Capitalists invented it so we can throw money away on flowers and teddy bears and chocolate, and at the end of the day, that’s totally okay. I mean, what’s wrong with making just a tiny bit of effort to make one day a tiny bit more special for your loved ones, eh?

(more…)

Feb 08 2014

We’re Here, a Million Miles Away

Filed under: recording

I made a thing again. See past thing for disclaimers.

Her just about killed me when I watched it last month. Probably not watching it again because it was so painful, but let it be noted that it was the best pain ever.

Edit: I checked my Soundcloud a few hours after posting this and was surprised to see it already had 40 listens. Then I realized it automatically posted it for me on Facebook because I linked the two apps on my iPad. Fuuuuuuuuuu kill me now. So embarrassing ughhhh. THIS IS NOT FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION!!!!!!

Jan 28 2014

26 on 26: Some Rambling

Filed under: Love, friendship

[BGmusic: Once Upon a Dream by Lana del Rey]

Last Sunday, on the 26th, I turned 26, the last number before I enter the DREADED LATE 20s, when I am sure to shrivel up into the little old spinster I was always destined to be.

All in all, I had a great birthday. I whisked myself away to the beach, bringing along with me some high school friends for company, and we welcomed my aging with mirth brought about by:

  1. our long-overdue reunion
  2. the seaside
  3. making music
  4. tequila
  5. mint-flavored shisha (now one of my favorite things)

It had actually been years since I had seen most of my high school friends. It goes without saying that they had changed since the last time we’d hung out, but then again, so had I. The thing is, in spite of how much we had shifted shapes, we were still recognizable underneath it all, still the same teenagers who had learned how to waltz, conjugate, and compute for the value of x together. We had taught each other how to play the guitar, speculated about the mysteries of sex together, comforted each other through the first pangs of heartache with candy and soda, and mucked around school like the kids we were, unashamed. And there we were, almost 10 years after graduation, still making music together, still turning to each other for comfort, still mucking around, refusing to act our age.

(more…)

Jan 16 2014

Blorft

Filed under: Uncategorized

I thought I was happy then I remembered I wasn’t.

Jan 06 2014

Growing Up Beside You

Filed under: Uncategorized

I feel like I will forever be a work in progress. I hope that’s okay.

Jan 01 2014

Lalalala

Filed under: Just Sharing

Look what I made!

The neighbours were being annoying with their whole day whole night karaoke, so I decided to make my own noise. And I recorded it. And now I’m sharing it. Just here, not anywhere else.

So basically it’s exclusive to you, my four remaining readers! I trust that you will not judge me too harshly because I’m assuming that the reason you’re still reading these depressing rants is because you love me in your own little way. Right? Right?

And because you guys are the only people who are going to hear this, I dedicate this song, which is near and dear to my heart, to you. <3 (cue: d'aww) May the song's words ring true for us all.

Disclaimer: This is the first time I've done this.

Disclaimer2: I am not a singer. I am aware that there are some rough patches.

Disclaimer3: There are some fireworks/firecracker noises here. I decided to leave them in because I’m too lazy FOR ATMOSPHERE.

Disclaimer4: I abused the reverb effect to compensate for my mic’s bad quality.

Publishing before I chicken out!